The essential building blocks
“There are two people in the relationship, their expectations are different, their needs are different, their way of communication is different,” Gurpreet explains. “Everything about them is different. There are similarities of course, but opposites attract quite a lot. When you’re attracted to someone that’s different to you, it is almost necessary you will run into things about the person that grate on you. That’s always the way. Someone leaves the cap off the toothpaste and the other person gets irritated, all these things manifest themselves in relationships.”
That’s why, Gurpreet says, understanding each other’s love languages can be vital to building and maintaining a healthy relationship. But first, it’s important to have the ‘building blocks’ in place. “There needs to be love for each other, there needs to be trust, and there needs to be a desire to communicate with each other,” he says.
“For example, in a good, healthy relationship, somebody saying, ‘You don’t tell me you love me,’ is them talking about the language of love that’s relevant for them. They’re saying the love language known as ‘words of affirmation’ is really important.”
What the five love languages are
Words of affirmation: Put simply, telling someone you love them.
Acts of service: How you demonstrate that you are thinking of someone. “You could open a door for them, or remember if they’ve eaten or not, or demonstrate some care for them,” Gurpreet says. “Even remembering they love cheesecake, and bringing one home could be an act of service.”
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